Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 


And so alone he sat,
Upon his throne of iron twisted with thorns
And gazed upon all that he had lost,
And all in the name of love.

For the glory of war he rides alone
Into the dying of the light,
To where confusion mingles with pain,
And leaves him gasping in sudden realization.

To the heights of legend he climbs,
Searching, ever searching, for something he will never find.
His armor long now lost, his sword broken,
As is his heart; left dying from honor.

And so the good deed dies,
Massacred before it was conceived,
Lost upon the foolishness of the naïve.
And hope takes flight to better shores.

For the words of the wise be believed
And so continued in his charade.
A man without a soul, heart or name,
To fall before the height of his ignorance.

And so at last he comes upon the end of things,
A candle burning its own wax,
Its light blinding the eyes of others
Until, at last, it thankfully disappears
©2005-2009 ~necromancerr
:iconnecromancerr:

Author's Comments

For years since I first wrote this poem I have been trying to figure out just who this poem is about...

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconcoldcontactkiss:
Great build...until that very last line. There's no clincher. Give me a clincher! Drag me to the edge of my seat and leave me to ponder! I know you have it in you to erupt with a fantastic finish. Everything else is gold, just change that one thing.

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]
:iconcoldcontactkiss:
Literal definition:
2. Informal A point, fact, or remark that settles something conclusively; a decisive factor.

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]
:iconnecromancerr:
lol. I know what the word means, but the last line of the poem is the way it is for a reason. It is about futility. At the end, the seacher simply fades away without fanfare, missed by no one. In the end, the searcher fails to find that which he seeks, and is therefore destroyed by that failure.
:iconcoldcontactkiss:
Oh good. You scared me for a second.

Futility, hence what I said earlier about leaving me on the edge of my seat to ponder. Where did the Searcher go? Why? -- Things like that. Fading away without fanfare could be expressed with the direct dropped-off-a-cliff approach. Ultimately, that would be the perfect 'clincher', too. Give the reader a sense of wonder and leave them guessing. ;)

That's merely my opinion though.

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]
:iconnecromancerr:
Hee hee. Nice to know I still have the ability to scare people. I think. lol
:iconcoldcontactkiss:
lol Not in that context. You had me worried over the word 'clincher' for heaven's sake! :giggle:

--
"I love when you make the dictionary your bitch."
"You seduce the English language and use it for your own sordid ends."

[JDM] [JA]
:iconjenna-rose:
:hmm: I'm not sure why, but it reminds me of the movie 300...

Anyway, really great piece, good work.

--
- Jen :rose::peace:

"You have to be strong. The hardest thing in this world... is to live in it. Be brave. Live." Buffy, 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' (season 5, episode The Gift)

Details

August 26, 2005
1.1 KB

Statistics

12
5 [who?]
167 (0 today)
8 (0 today)

Share

Link
Thumb

Site Map